Five Days Into the New Year, and Still Right on Time

It’s five days into the New Year as I’m writing this.

Which feels worth naming because if we’re being honest, the idea that January 1st is some magical reset button has always been a bit unrealistic. Many of us enter the new year tired, overwhelmed, or already feeling behind. And sometimes the most honest way to begin a new year is… procrastination.

And that’s okay.

The New Year can be a motivating time. It’s also a time that often invites pressure, all-or-nothing thinking, and resolutions that sound good on paper but quietly fall away after a few days or weeks. If that’s been your experience, it doesn’t mean you lack discipline or motivation — it means you’re human.

What actually creates lasting change tends to look very different than what most resolutions ask of us.

Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Stick

Research and clinical experience tell us a few consistent things:

• Big, vague goals overwhelm the nervous system
  

• Change driven by shame or “shoulds” rarely lasts
  

• Motivation is unreliable — structure and compassion matter more
  

• When life is already full, adding pressure usually backfires
  

Sustainable change tends to happen slowly, specifically, and with room for flexibility, not urgency.

If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, Start Here

One of the most common things I hear around this time of year is:

“I know I want something to be different, I just don’t know where to start.”

If that resonates, try beginning with your body rather than your to do list.

1. Ask a regulating question instead of a productivity one

Instead of “What should I fix?” try:

• What feels most depleted right now?
  

• Where do I notice the most tension or heaviness?
  

• What feels unsustainable in my current rhythm?

Often, your nervous system already knows where attention is needed.

2. Choose a direction, not a demand

Goals rooted in values tend to last longer than goals rooted in outcomes.

Rather than:

• “Exercise every day”
  

• “Be less anxious”
  

• “Get my life together”

Try:

• “Move my body in ways that feel supportive”
  

• “Create more moments of steadiness”
  

• “Build a life that feels more aligned and authentic”
  

This gives your system something to move toward, rather than something to live up to.

3. Make goals small enough to succeed

Lasting change usually grows from tiny, repeatable actions, not dramatic overhauls.

For example:

• A few minutes of movement, not a rigid workout plan
  

• One intentional pause during the day
  

• One thing you stop doing, not just things you add
  

If a goal requires constant willpower, it’s probably too big.

A Somatic Perspective on Change

From a somatic lens, change isn’t just about mindset, it’s about capacity.

If your nervous system is already overloaded, asking it to do more will often lead to shutdown or avoidance. Sustainable change comes from:

• Safety
  

• Pacing
  

• Choice
  

• Flexibility

In other words, your system needs to feel like the change is survivable.

If a goal creates dread, tightness, or urgency, it likely needs adjusting.

My Word for the Year: Courage

This year, my word is courage.

Not the fearless kind, but the quieter, steadier kind.
The courage to do things even when I’m scared.
The courage to take the leap.
The courage to set boundaries.
The courage to take care of myself.
And the courage to live as authentically as possible.

Rather than setting big resolutions, I’m focusing on small, sustainable practices that help me stay connected to myself:

• Reading one chapter of a book each day
  

• Meditating daily, even if it’s brief
  

• Moving my body daily in ways that feel alive — yoga with Adrienne on YouTube, walking outside or walking with Get Fit with Rick on YouTube if it’s too cold, playing soccer with my daughter, dancing while vacuuming — movement that feels supportive rather than punishing
  

• Learning to play an instrument, piano or guitar, even if I’m not very good. Music skipped a generation in my family (haha!), but the desire has always been there, and that feels worth honoring.
  

And finally, being gentle with myself if I miss a day and then allowing myself to start again. None of these are about perfection. They’re about participation.

If Your Resolution Already Fell Apart, You’re Still Right on Time

The most important thing to know is this:
There is no deadline for beginning again.

January doesn’t expire. Motivation comes and goes. What matters is choosing goals that respect your humanity, your nervous system, and the season of life you’re actually in.

If you’re noticing places where courage is being asked of you this year, especially around change, boundaries, or caring for yourself, therapy can be a supportive place to explore that at your own pace.

If and when you’re ready, you’re welcome to reach out.